Wanting (2003)


In 2003 the documentary filmmaker, Nick Broomfield made, Aileen: Life and death of a serial killer.

I was really impacted by her story, the brokenness of her life and what chance did she ever really have. I wished to acknowledge her too.

Wanting by Emily J Gibson

Wanting, 2003

I am conceived. My parents separate. I am born
Is that just?
My father is convicted of child molestation.
He kills himself in prison
Is that just?
Age four my mother abandons me.
I am raised by my grandparents.
They are alcoholics.
Is that just?
My Grandfather beats me with a leather belt
It is rumoured that my grandfather is my father.
Is that just?
Age eleven I swap blow jobs for booze and fags,
Is that just?
Age fourteen I am pregnant.
The father of my child is either
my grandfather, my brother or a boy that raped me.
Is that just?
I am blamed for my grandmother’s death because I am ‘wild’
Is that just?
My baby is taken from me to be adopted.
Age fourteen I leave home and sleep feral in the woods
in the snow
Is that just?
Age sixteen I hitchhike to Florida.
I work as a prostitute to survive.
I pick up men from truck stops.
Is that just?
I live in a world where laws are made by men.
I am fucked by men
My profession is against the law.
Is that just?
I am threatened and beaten by a convicted sex felon.
I live in a country which, promotes the carrying and use of guns.
I shoot him in self-defence.
Is that just?
It is received wisdom that children
need love to grow into balanced
I have only received violence and betrayal.
I am violent.
Is that just?
I am assaulted by seven men.
I kill seven men.
Is that just?
I am a women
Society sensationalises my gender and violence
Is that just?
I am murdered 'humanely' by society.
In the eyes of the law justice is done.